Unconventional Traditions
When I sat down to write about our traditions, it was tough. Not because I dislike traditions or because we don't have them in our family, but because our traditions differ greatly from my childhood. In some ways, that makes it difficult to recognize them as traditions. Okay, I think I've hit my word count for the word "tradition."
Growing up, we celebrated holidays with nearby family. Thanksgiving was at Grandma and Grandpa's house, with a big meal and lots of visiting. In December, we'd have a church program and party, which to me was the kickoff to the Christmas season. Then, Christmas Eve was another family gathering. The evening included the grandkids reading the story of the birth of Jesus from Luke 2 and a quiet time of reflection before we got wound up again. Christmas morning was always exciting, with presents and family time, followed by lunch at the other grandparents' house. The only addition to this annual routine was a Christmas dinner party at our house. These traditions were a regular part of my childhood, and I still remember them clearly.
Amanda and I married in 2007, welcomed our daughter in 2011, and our son in 2014. During our time together, we've been creating our own traditions, and for many reasons, they look very different from my childhood. To start, Amanda's family lives about 400 miles away, and mine lives 50 miles away. Gone were the days of seeing both sides of the family at one party or in one day. To accommodate both sides, we opted for a rotating holiday schedule: Thanksgiving with one family, Christmas with the other, and vice versa the following year. This arrangement also posed the question of Christmas Eve and morning. Should we drive back home late on Christmas Eve, or stay where we are and celebrate Christmas morning with extended family? We ultimately chose to stay put, breaking tradition only once during the pandemic. While there are years when we would like to be home on Christmas morning, our family consensus is clear: spending time with loved ones, wherever we may be, is the most meaningful way to celebrate.
We've also established other annual traditions that we cherish. Most years, we head downtown to witness the tree lighting ceremony and watch our daughter dance. We also make time to watch our favorite Christmas movies, participate in Operation Christmas Child, and enjoy the various parties, choir performances, and Advent events at our church. Amidst the busyness of the season, it can feel overwhelming. However, reflecting back, we realize these moments have become cherished family traditions.
I think I've shared all this to say to young families that the traditions you start might not look like what you expected, and that's just fine. You now get to consider your family and what you are going to create together. As I was writing this and preparing for the Christmas season, I couldn't help but think about Mary and Joseph and how different their lives were after their baby boy was born. They were likely just settling into a routine, establishing their traditions, and dreaming of the future. Right up until Gabriel showed up. All the plans and dreams were forever changed, and isn't that exactly how life is? Right when you think you're figuring it out and in control, something happens, and that something, I believe, is not by chance.
When Gabriel came to Mary, we know she was young, a virgin, and betrothed to Joseph. Here she was trying to figure out life and make wedding plans, and in a moment, it's all turned upside down. But how does she respond? After some discernment and a question to Gabriel, we see this in Luke 1:38, "And Mary said, 'Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.' And the angel departed from her." (ESV) Within the time of a short conversation, Mary accepted her new calling from God and started a new path with new traditions. All this happened because: "For nothing will be impossible with God." Luke 1:37 (ESV).
God, help us to be a generation that responds like Mary. One that gladly accepts new ways and new traditions when they are from you. Help us to be okay with the potential temporary discomfort and loss of perceived control caused by your calling. Thank you, Father, for my family and the new traditions we've created together. I know my family is a gift from you and a calling for me to lead and care well for them. Most importantly, thank you for your son Jesus and your plan of salvation that brings peace in an unconventional and turbulent world. Amen.
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